We all hold secrets. Deep within our hearts, or right below the surface. We are all in search of release. Even if we don't realize we need to just let go. We all have secret requests, secret events, secret lives. I secretly wish I could find some way to change me. But I can't. and that is exactly what people expect from me... is to change. Don't blame me for not wanting to change who I am. I haven't been perfect. This life I've lived hasn't been easy all the time. I've been through rough. I've been awakened by every bump in the road. And I have learned from each rocky jolt.
I've held things deep within me. locked up emotions. you can only hear me through my music. my emotion. my life. my struggles. me. The only place you can find me is within myself. You can make stories up about me. You can judge me. but you can't change me.
Its funny isn't it? how we apologize. how we mourn. how we are set in our ways. how we try to change others. how we try to make them more like us. we don't like what we see in ourselves. so we change others. its funny isn't it? how we give up. on people. on projects... ourselves. we blame others. but when it comes down to it.. the race is with ourselves.
I try so desperately to hear other peoples complaints and then try and make them happy.. but what concerns me the most.. is that they never are truly happy. even though I try so hard. but it never works. because the only thing they want from me is to change myself. How? how can I make this easier? How come it is so hard to see these scars as a sign that i survived. instead of a sign that I almost didn't?
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