suddenly.

Pour Me Out.

Remember when we were kids? When our outfits weren't color coordinated, but our socks matched thanks to mom. We played games like climbing all over the furniture pretending the ground was lava. I remember I played the Lava Game and pretended my dog was a lava dog and ran away. Me and my sister would play Cowboys and Indians. She would tie me up (of course I was the indian) but those were the days. Now we look at ourselves and we look back and we may just laugh at ourselves, and how we dressed, or acted. We just look but we never come to realize that we were carefree, and lucky. Lucky because we didn't care if we offended people. (and they didn't care if we offended them, they just laughed thinking we were cute little brats.)Carefree, we didn't know about sickness unless it was a sniffly nose, we were unaware of death and drugs and sex. In fact, we acted as if hyped up on drugs. Running around the house bare-ass naked. Building little tents in our living rooms. Banging on pots and pans. We were cunning and intelligent. We built the best tents in town out of a few blankets and a broom.

But were weren't brave all the time. I know I became scared often. I hid my face under the blankets late within the night. Thinking that whatever monster or boogie man were creeping on me that night could never get to me under neath my sheets. Some nights so scared I would crawl in bed with my parents right between them. and fall asleep. Even as we grow older, the things that frighten us change into something bigger. Afraid to die, Afraid to grow old, Afraid of change, Afraid of strangers, Afraid to be yourself. Because if you show your true face you're afraid people will judge you.

Friends didn't betray us. We didn't betray friends. Most often than not, our best friend was Henry the imaginary friend. Or Ted the teddy bear. But Friends merely fought over a simple toy. Now we fight over teenage boys. Or who spread what rumor. Arguments as a teen is probably even more immature than arguments as kids. But we didn't know that then. And we don't know it now.

When it rained we grabbed our umbrellas, even though we jumped in puddles and got ourselves soaked. Boys were and entire different species. (still are) but we still married them underneath the monkey bars. Pink was just the color we wore. but our favorite color changed daily. We danced to our own beat.

We were kids.

just kids.

The Storm, The Thunder

The storm crashed through leaving the trees with out any leaves. Leaving the trees barren and grey. As the storm, with all of it's might, thrashed about like a child throwing a tantrum, Here she stood among the snow and the fallen trees. Her body calm and serene as though the storm were nearly a few rain dropping clouds. She trudged through the snow covered trees. As a storm comes it only passes by leaving waves of destruction. But a storm dies sometime. as people do. A storm passes on into a slight wind in the green of trees somewhere else in a far away city. And she keeps walking choosing whichever path she decides to tread. She sails the ocean through waves of pain, and waves that flood her eyes and spill over. She keeps going. even when the tornado rips through and leaves her alone. Few walk with her and keep her company. Few have been with her all along. And the very few, that anchor her heart and make her sun shine. she knows that where ever she is supposed to be, she'll get there. She shines brighter than anyone. And most of all... she made it out alive... I made it out alive.

Valentines day :)

I love him.

surreal.

Dream of blue skies for me tonight.

Dream the sun sneaks in it's light.

Disco ball the moon and stars.

Pray you don't fall too far.

Truth Or Dare

Pack it up.

Morning.

How did you sleep my love?

Actually. I can.

I'm not the girl you thought I was. I'm Stronger.

$

The Plan

What exactly is "Your Plan?" You know that question every one asks you? "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" Well you practically are grown up. Just a couple more years and you'll be an adult. And then some and you can go out in town with your girls, (Or boys) and get wasted. But thats not the point. What are you going to do with your life? I know what I want to be. It took some time to figure it out. But what about you?

You're a freshman, You have a few ideas in mind, but you think you have a few years to spare until you really have to decide. You don't really think about it, even though many of the teachers are pounding it in your head to start thinking about your future and college and careers and degrees. Whatever that means. But seriously, you have big choices to make. Especially colleges. Where to go, what to major in, etc etc etc.

Sophomore year. Time is flying faster and faster. You are still thinking about it every day. "What am I going to do?" You lay out your options:

Become a vet. like you always have wanted.

Become famous over Youtube

Move to Hollywood and play at all the local bars for the rest of your life.

Be the first to live on the moon.

Be a secret agent. with multiple secret identities.

Live at moms playing Halo till you figure out what to do.

Vampire Slayer. A classic.

We all consider the options. So many to choose from. Time is running out.

Junior Year. You realize all this talk of Senior project. All the pointless notecards. All the Essays, and how serious this is getting. Like a serious relationship, You really start to think about the future.

Senior year. You better figure it out. Or wing it. But I wouldn't suggest wingin' it... even though I just did...

But what are you going to do?

Seriously.

What are you going to do?

Even though i don't show it sometimes.