91. This ones for you...

post #91:

This is the countdown, and here i begin.

91 goes out to my best. The ones who keep me laughing and smiling. The ones I can just look at and laugh and cry and smile. The ones who encourage me and support me.

This one is for Natalie Ann Buller. You've been here forever. You've seen me go through my stages. You've seen me cry and laugh and love. You've inspired me in more ways than one. And you've been beautiful. You never cease to amaze me. even though you've moved away and we only stay in contact through text or fb. I love you girl.

This one is for Adam William Dean Morse. When we first met, I never expected anything of it. You used to always be a passing glance or a slight hello. The more I came to know you, the more I fell in love with your nerdy little self. And the way you made me laugh. no one can make me laugh like you. or smile so big the moment I see you. You'll always be in my <3 Thank you for being there, when I cry, when I laugh. when I'm angry or upset. I Love you Adam. <3

This one is for Tonysha Cherie Hadden. I've never had a bad time with you. and you manage to make me smile on the worst days. I know I can confide in you. and tell you everything. you're the most honest and true person I know. I Love how we have a girl-mance. ;) if I were a guy........I can't even imagine life without you because you are my sunshine. :) I love you babe.

This one is for Amanda Elizabeth Walker. We've been through thick and thin. I love how we can have a huge fight and not talk for two weeks straight and then not even remember what we were fighting for. I can tell you my hopes my dreams my life. I always want to be the person here for you to talk to. We have our agreements and disagreements but thats what I love about you. You are you. I love you like mad.

This one is for Bethany Claire Johnson. My sister. My heart. The thought of you not being in my life brings me to tears just thinking about it. And the thought of you being in my life brings me to tears of happiness. I'm so lucky to have you as a sister. You are adventurous like me. I learned it from you. You are beautiful and don't seem to realize that so many guys want to jump up on that. You've been so protective of me and I of you. and I've never been so proud of you. You claim to be jealous of me. When in reality I envy you so much because I look up to you and you're gorgeous and friendly. I love how we act like kids and giggle when dad gets mad and tells us to shutup. :) I love you forever sis. no matter what. <3

This one is for Allis. My other sis. I love how we can giggle and talk about dramarama! and talk about the future and the past. and laugh about it. I remember when every night before we went to bed we would read Calvin and Hobbes. I always get so excited to see you. you're amazing. and awesome to hang with. I love you sis. :)

This one is for Athena Amoruso. You're so beautiful and amazing big sis!! I'll always miss you're beautiful face and sexy body around ;) I love you so much. and you are the one who has inspired me to pursue cosmetology. Hopefully we can open a salon together it would be a blessing. I love you. <3

This one is for Josh Gonsalez. I truly met you sophomore year. I'd like to think we hit it off instantaneously. You got class and swagg and I love the way you talk. "We always mob to school but today we were cruisin'" You're a smart kid. and You got style. You're such a romantic. maybe we'll be in law siblings someday? jkjk but seriously you're the best. Love ya bro.

This one is for the unmentionables. We used to be the three amigos or something like that. you guys were my closest and I wish people including myself didn't make mistakes like the one I made. I still love ya. and I still miss you.

This one is for my guy friends. The advice was great MK. Justin Jones, You're a handful. Ryan. you make me laugh so hard. Joe. you used to be grumpy. JF. I had a fat crush on you freshman year. but we tight now. JM. You can be sucha dick. but so awesome all in the same. And all the rest of you. you aren't a girl. And you don't start drama. love you guys!

This one is for my parents. You guys are the craziest people I know. Especially you Mom. And dad, you've always lifted me up and made me strong. All those nights you would be gone fighting fires, I was so proud. and You are my true hero. Mom. We've butted heads so many times and never really got along. but we still seem to get by. I know it's hard for me to express how I feel because I have such a hard heart that I've built up so strong to protect myself. I think because you guys taught me to be protective over my mind and body. You guys are great when you aren't grumpy. ily.

This one goes to the rest of you. You guys are the ones who are real and alive. You guys are the ones that are happy. and sad. And fun. And annoying. You guys give me excitement. And I couldn't ask for anything more. I love you.

I love all of you with all of my heart.

Last but not least. this is to all you bitches and skanks that made me stronger. specifically you. the one who I thought was going to be real with me. but ended up dropping me like garbage. As well as you. who lied and and cheated and faked. You broke her heart and now I'm gonna break your balls. If I ever see you around don't be surprised if I you feel a kick to the nads. And you. You who didn't hire me even though I am a diligent worker and have awesome work ethic. And you who broke my heart. you douche. and to few of my teachers. no one can stress me out more than you do.


You guys suck.

90

This is the ninetieth post. :) the countdown begins.

I keep coming back to you

you're everywhere. traces of you in my bedroom. I don't even know why I did it. or how I could even let those words slip from my lips and fall to the floor.

But I keep coming back to you.

Its the fact that you still make me giggle and smile. our memory stays strong and heavy in my heart.

I keep coming back, because I love you.

This.

Today, I have nothing to say.